Teacher Jokes

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that
we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie. .... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know
why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.